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#21 [url]

Sep 12 13 6:55 AM

This might be a bit of a reach, but here's the best I can do. Was picking up someone on a late flight into Melbourne, FL. Melbourne's airport is pretty small, kind of like Santa Barbara. The flight was the last one of the night and it was late, so the airport was virtually deserted. I'm wandering around trying to kill time and as I am about to sit down, who, but Sandy Koufax is three seats down from me. He's reading a newspaper and kind of glances up just as I am being seated, and I blurt out something really witty like, "Hi, Sandy, How Are You?" He says "Fine", returns to his reading, and that was the end of the conversation. By the way, Koufax was there meeting a very attractive middle aged woman, so all those unfounded Fox rumors about his sexual preference back then were apparently false.

Perhaps a greater reach was in Las Vegas many years ago. There were six of us and we went to see the singer Charo. For those who don't remember her, she was a sultry, sexy blonde. Part of her act was that she would pick out some foil and practically undress him during one of her songs. Of course, she picked the fat, bald guy in our group (NO, not me!). It was so funny because his wife was a bit jealous of the whole act, and the guy was eating it up. Anyway, our entire table was invited to visit in her dressing room. Cuchi-cuchi.

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#22 [url]

Sep 12 13 7:45 AM

WildHare wrote:
This might be a bit of a reach, but here's the best I can do. Was picking up someone on a late flight into Melbourne, FL. Melbourne's airport is pretty small, kind of like Santa Barbara. The flight was the last one of the night and it was late, so the airport was virtually deserted. I'm wandering around trying to kill time and as I am about to sit down, who, but Sandy Koufax is three seats down from me. He's reading a newspaper and kind of glances up just as I am being seated, and I blurt out something really witty like, "Hi, Sandy, How Are You?" He says "Fine", returns to his reading, and that was the end of the conversation. By the way, Koufax was there meeting a very attractive middle aged woman, so all those unfounded Fox rumors about his sexual preference back then were apparently false.

Perhaps a greater reach was in Las Vegas many years ago. There were six of us and we went to see the singer Charo. For those who don't remember her, she was a sultry, sexy blonde. Part of her act was that she would pick out some foil and practically undress him during one of her songs. Of course, she picked the fat, bald guy in our group (NO, not me!). It was so funny because his wife was a bit jealous of the whole act, and the guy was eating it up. Anyway, our entire table was invited to visit in her dressing room. Cuchi-cuchi.
Wait - so what happened in her dressing room?!! Don't leave us hanging!

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#23 [url]

Sep 12 13 7:50 AM

WildHare wrote:
This might be a bit of a reach, but here's the best I can do. Was picking up someone on a late flight into Melbourne, FL. Melbourne's airport is pretty small, kind of like Santa Barbara. The flight was the last one of the night and it was late, so the airport was virtually deserted. I'm wandering around trying to kill time and as I am about to sit down, who, but Sandy Koufax is three seats down from me. He's reading a newspaper and kind of glances up just as I am being seated, and I blurt out something really witty like, "Hi, Sandy, How Are You?" He says "Fine", returns to his reading, and that was the end of the conversation. By the way, Koufax was there meeting a very attractive middle aged woman, so all those unfounded Fox rumors about his sexual preference back then were apparently false.

Perhaps a greater reach was in Las Vegas many years ago. There were six of us and we went to see the singer Charo. For those who don't remember her, she was a sultry, sexy blonde. Part of her act was that she would pick out some foil and practically undress him during one of her songs. Of course, she picked the fat, bald guy in our group (NO, not me!). It was so funny because his wife was a bit jealous of the whole act, and the guy was eating it up. Anyway, our entire table was invited to visit in her dressing room. Cuchi-cuchi.

Remember the story of me busting the lip of an aerobics partner? I could have used Charo for as an illustration of Debra...if Charo were hotter and cockier.

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#24 [url]

Sep 12 13 7:59 AM

One of my stories involves Koufax. I was in the St. Louis airport, waiting in line at a gate. I turned around in line and was face to face (OK, face to neck) with one Mr. Koufax. Now I am completely unimpressed or unmoved by "celebrities", but this time I was practically speechless. I just kind of said "Hello, Mr. Koufax." and he nodded and that was about it. I don't bother celebs when they are out in public so I didn't try to strike up a conversation.

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#25 [url]

Sep 12 13 8:18 AM

I have one story for you.

Many years ago I was on a flight from NYC to San Francisco and in those days my company paid for me to fly first class. There was a rather unremarkable middle aged woman sitting next to me. I didn’t really pay too much attention to her but couldn’t help but notice she was working on contracts and had plenty of letters she was reviewing that were on media company letterheads. She periodically dictated orders in a very stern and needlessly bossy tone into a recorder to what seemed to be her male secretary. Included were things like don’t forget to pick up my dry cleaning. I had to feel sorry for that guy.

Starting some time into the flight, the female flight attendants (they were all females back then) came over to her one after the other to tell her how much she had meant to them, how much help she gave them on their weddings etc. I had no idea what was going on with that.

After much time had passed she finished all the work she had to do and turned to me and introduced herself to me saying “Hi I’m Martha Stewart”. I responded “Hi I’m …” and said my name. I had absolutely zero idea who Martha Stewart was.

She told me she wrote various books and was negotiating to have a television show etc. and when I told her I worked on Wall Street told me she started out as a broker and her daughter still was, etc. etc.

Anyway, after we landed I got to my company’s SF office and mentioned this and basically got laughed at for being so clueless about who she was. I called my wife and once she controlled her laughter told me she had books by Martha Stewart all over our house and couldn’t believe I could possibly be that unobservant. About a week later, I received a package which was obviously sent by my friends in the SF office containing one of her books with her autograph faked and an inscription about how happy she was to have joined the mile high club with me. Needless to say that never happened but it was years before they stopped teasing me about that.

My excuse is her name never appeared in a box score.

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#26 [url]

Sep 12 13 6:19 PM

When I was in high school, we had a basketball coach who fancied himself the next John Wooden and (no, I never had the opportunity to meet John Wooden) and in my junior year we had what looked like a very good team (we were ranked, pre-season, in the top ten in California). So, he booked us in tournaments (before this was the norm, remember 1973 and all that) to play against other power house high school teams and because our parents could afford to send us far away. Anyway, our first tournament was in Pittsburgh, PA. It was a big deal, 32 teams and some of the best high school teams in the East. When we got to the arena, we were told that Petersburg VA High School was in the tournament and we all knew that meant Moses Malone, the best high school player in the country was there. Now, a little about our team, we were pretty tall as high school teams go, our starting front line went 6'6", 6'7" and 6'5, plus our guards were both 6'3" and except for me, they were all seniors who were three year starters. Now, I was the center because my job was to get rebounds, make outlet passes and take charging fouls. If the ball came to me on offense, it was by mistake. The other guys were the stars and my job was to make them look good.

Okay, back to the story at hand. As we heading into the locker room to get ready for practice, we see the young Malone. I decide to speak to him simply because I was the only person on the team who could put together six words. I find that Malone can't either. I decide, seeing as how we would have to win two games and so would they to meet in the tourney, that my chances of facing him on the court were slim and none. I start talking to him and all I get back is a couple of single syllable words and a grunt, so I get wise ass and say, "Well, don't sweat it big guy, when you get to the NBA you can hire someone to speak for you...." Well, two games later, I am standing at half court ready to get my proverbial ass shown to me. I decide that I will do my best Vlade Divac and start flopping at the center tip. Refs weren't having any. First time he sets up on the post, I get on top of him and it was like I was fresh meat, he did a spin move and kind of jumped over me. This went on for a couple possessions when the coach suggested I lean on him. Oh boy, this guy is over seven feet and he has something like sixty pounds on my scrawny 165 lb frame. I did draw some fouls, but the payoff of getting shot into the stands when he did his drop step and went to the hole made it borderline suicidal. After he dropped either 35 or 40 on me and bruised me from head to toe, he puts his arm around me and tells me, "Thanks for the motivation, white meat. I would say see you in the pro's but you ain't getting anywhere near there unless your daddy buys you a ticket."

That's mine, have a good laugh.

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#27 [url]

Sep 12 13 6:34 PM

pastorkc wrote:
claude osteen wrote:
Alice Jones and my grandmother were friends for many years.
Ha!  I knew it!  I could just FEEL it.  :)  Of course, it could be that we had this exchange 5 or 6 years ago, and I've forgotten. :)

We did! Its tough getting old!smiley: smile

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#28 [url]

Sep 12 13 9:40 PM

claude osteen wrote:
pastorkc wrote:
claude osteen wrote:
Alice Jones and my grandmother were friends for many years.
Ha!  I knew it!  I could just FEEL it.  :)  Of course, it could be that we had this exchange 5 or 6 years ago, and I've forgotten. :)

We did! Its tough getting old!smiley: smile

Man, that's embarrassing.  But I really do remember it - all coming back to me now.  Unfortunately for me, forgetfulness is not a sign of age.  Been with me forever. :)

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